Carrie Underwood breaks down in tears as she relives the pain she went through after three miscarriages: ‘I was hurt, I was a little angry’
Carrie Underwood was ‘mad’ at God after suffering three miscarriages.
The Love Wins singer admitted she had ‘had enough’ when she worried her fourth pregnancy after having son Isaiah, now five, was also not going to go to term and she was left feeling ‘guilty’ over her frustrations with her faith.
‘I had an honest conversation with God, and I told him how I felt. I was hurt. I was a little angry and, of course, you feel guilty for being mad at your creator,’ Carrie – whose fears were happily unfounded and she gave birth to son Jacob in January 2019 – said as she broke down in tears during episode two of Mike And Carrie: God & Country.
‘And I told him we needed something. We needed to have a baby or not, ever, because I couldn’t keep going down that road anymore.’
After her second miscarriage, Carrie’s husband Mike Fisher was convinced that she would eventually have another son and they would name him Jacob following his own conversation with God.
He said: ‘What’s the future look like, we don’t know. Are we going to adopt, are we going to… going through things in your mind.
‘I was just wrestling and probably the most honest I’d been with God. And I heard, not audibly, but I sensed that God told me that we were going to have a son, and his name’s Jacob.
‘Not much longer, we were pregnant, and we lose another baby,’
The Before He Cheats hitmaker admitted she always thought miscarriages ‘happened to other people’.
Carrie – who recently revealed she is working on a full Christmas album – tearfully said: ‘It sounds wrong when you say it. But it’s one of those bad things that happens to other people, you know what I mean? It’s like so many things in the world, it’s not like something you ever envision yourself having to deal with.’
Last week she said on her show that at first was not sure she wanted to have children, admitting that she and Fisher had different ideas about family when they first met.
In the series, Carrie says she never saw herself ‘getting married or having a family,’ while her 39-year-old former hockey player spouse claims that he wanted to replicate his own idyllic childhood.
‘I was never good with other people’s kids. Why would I be good with one of my own?’ Carrie, who is now mother to Isaiah, five, and Jacob, 16 months, explained.
Mike, on the other hand, was excited by the prospect.
‘I grew up with three other siblings and I had a great mom and dad,’ the Peterborough, Canada-born Fisher revealed.
‘I wanted to be the best dad, to be like my dad and have a wife like my mom, have kids and [live] in the country.’
‘I got everything and more than I dreamed of to be really honest,’ Mike added.
Of course, Carrie eventually came around, saying she fell ‘in love’ as soon as she had her oldest child – though naturally, that first experience of parenthood was tinged with fear.
‘It’s just this tiny person that you’re just trying to keep alive in the beginning,’ the Before He Cheats hitmaker said.
‘The first time I held Isaiah, I thought, “What did we do?!”‘
And while the couple have been together for more than a decade, Carrie admitted she ‘never’ expected to end up with someone like Mike.
‘He grew up hunting and being outdoors, and it’s a big part of his life. I grew up on a cattle farm, and I went the other way,’ she explained.
‘I don’t eat meat and do my best to not buy leather things. I love animals, I love life so much that I always swore I would never marry a hunter… not in a million years.
‘We just differ drastically. We learn from each other and we have [discussions] about things we disagree on but at the end of the day, we love each other very much,’ the Muskogee, Oklahoma-born singer added.
And regardless of their differences, the couple will always have their shared faith, which is part of what got them through the trials of repeated miscarriages in their efforts to have children.
Mike said, ‘That’s where our faith comes in, too. It’s kind of that centre ground, where that’s the most important thing in anything.
‘I know your heart, and I know my heart,’ he added.
The four-part miniseries Mike & Carrie: God and Country premiered in May on IAmSecond.
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